Broken.

Broken is a term our generation tend to throw around lightly. If I sleep with multiple men “I must be broken”. I was raised in something other than the norm nuclear family “definitely broken”. It’s rarely a term we use to describe others but instead ourselves. It’s crazy because what makes us broken? How did we end up broke? You look whole to me. Whole. To be whole is a myth. One in which so many try to be but we are human. Perfectly imperfect. In my belief, this term broken is a copout. Similar to the daddy less daughter or the bastard child son. It’s a get out clause in the contracts of our brain. Our brain. It’s a powerful instrument and yet us as humans get life so wrong. How do we get life so wrong?

We think by blaming someone else for the way we turned out is easier than looking within ourselves, our own flaws and to the depths of our souls to realise the error of our ways. Your ways. They can be changed. It ignites the fire in my soul when us as humans we realise these terms are all irrelevant. Can I put an emphasis on the recognition. We have realised these terms. Now realise they have little to do with our broken ways. Our ways. Let us do something about them. But yet we do nothing about them. We do nothing to change.

Primary socialisation, yes it matters, but if we realise we was brought up by fatherless fathers why cast the blame? Whatever the situation whether it is the same. Or whether we believe it to be a thousand times worse. Stop.

Stop and look to you.

We are the master of our own actions. We choose to smile. We choose to laugh. To cry. To be moody and we choose to not try. Try to change. “I am this way because of this other” so that makes it okay?

Time after time you hear people state this exact sentence. This other. Whether it be an ex, a sister, a father, mother or brother. It’s not them. It’s you. I can hiss quote after quote. “two wrongs don’t make a right” but what good would that do? If you’ve allowed someone to break you which is easy to do. You allowed to happen. You.

Only you have the power to fix your broken beliefs. Are we really broken? Or are we just thieves? Swiping away the actions of others and absorbing their negativity into the lives of our own.  My answer is no. Don’t let your past define you. Instead let us let it go.

I am not broken and neither are you. How we treat people is a reflection of no one but ourselves. Self justification distorts reality. So today, I realise the way in which I treated you was unacceptable and I blamed someone else for my actions. Today, I hope you realise the way you treated me was unacceptable and you blamed someone else for your actions. It was always okay because “oh he, she, it made me that way”.

Today we change. As I write this I pause for a second. Look down into the palms of my hands and sigh. I am human and to make mistakes is in my nature. However, now I choose to undo, all that pain I once thought you put me through.

To be or not to be,

Broken.

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