Final Year Freak Out!


I scream because sometimes my brain feels as though it’s is about to implode. An explosion that divides into tiny minuscules gathering as residue of a brain that’s overflowed, exhausted. I’m exhausted. My fingers cant type as fast as I think. My hands can’t keep up with the thoughts in my mind. Spelling mistakes. Oh lord the spelling mistakes. Breathe. I’m practising the art of breathing. A skill which is so commonly overlooked or underplayed. You only realise just how vital those inhales and exhales are when you have a cold. Those few days of having a blocked nose you’ll feel so grateful for the tunnels of life you once attained. Breathe. Breathe in through your nose out through your mouth. It’s a gift, one which is so underrated. This rush of I don’t know what to call it is back again. My fingers move ten to the dozen, my breath, it gets heavier. The mistakes in my writing worsen as my fingertips smash against the keyboard. Frustrated, I’m getting frustrated. Every backspace I make is a setback for the message I am trying to relay. Every backspace is an error of my ways. Blank. My mind goes blank as if it wasn’t just a minute ago oozing with ideas. As if not just a minute ago I rushed to open this document before these thoughts left me. I left my assignment to do this *said with an air of disappointment*.

I think that’s why my brain was about to explode.

Final year of university isn’t easy. My head is weighed down with decisions to be made, work to be completed and books to read. My eyes feel heavy. I’m tired. The workload can get so much and so stressful. That’s why I breathe. That’s why I have to remember to breathe. I can never let myself get so overwhelmed by this platform into employment because it’s what I chose to do. Everything will get done. This heavy weight will soon be lifted and to be honest I know I’ll miss it.


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