I’m writing to thank you.
You wouldn’t believe the amount of times I have re-written that sentence. An opening sentence is similar to a first impression. And don’t be mistaken an impression is important. An impression, it can stay with you for life. It’s an imprint in your mind. And you were an imprint in mine.
Dear stranger, you saved me. You saved me from the prison I called my mind and from feeling so secluded and so alone at that time. Depression. Depression, it can eat away at you sometimes. Sometimes you can only hear a voice telling you what’s wrong with your life. It’s a pressure, a constant pressure in your head. Almost convincing you you’d be better off…
A word we don’t say as its too harsh and too real. A word I thought of for many days before absence became real.
Dear stranger, I was anxious. Sweaty palms and naked arms. Scared to sleep and scared to dream. Scared of what after life may be. What may become of me?
I didn’t leave the house you know. For several months, a few years ago. You see there’s things you know and there’s things you don’t. They’re unknown. But it’s the known unknowns that convince anxiety and convince depression into making you believe things that no sane person would give any attention.
Am I not sane for feeling this way?
Dear stranger, these questions I pose are all rhetorical and you may be wondering why I’m spewing my story to someone who’s seen nothing of my adventure.
Dear stranger, yes that was my story. My story in which you changed. You made my life turn from a haze into a beautifully crafted maze. Although I do not know the answers or which path to take. You made me learn to enjoy the journey and live with mistakes.
If you cast your mind back to a few years ago. Remember I said I didn’t leave my home. Well one day during that time is the same day I met you. I had to leave my safe place which is something I’d never do. You saw me in my worst state. Frightened and alone. Panicking, panicking, panicking until I had no control. Underground at Waterloo is a place I don’t know.
You smiled. Starting as sympathetic smile. It was light and pure and true. The only way I can explain it was almost like home was standing right in front of you. Your lips curved upwards, your eyes slight and small. It was infectious, if you didn’t smile back you couldn’t be human at all. That smile alone made my day and even if you carried on walking that first impression will stay. At that moment in time, I knew the scary life I was caged in wasn’t reflected in you. You stayed, sat with me and talked for a while. You made me laugh and that infection grew wild. We didn’t discuss the panic attack but I knew you knew. That day you put my mind at ease and that’s why I’m thanking you.
Dear stranger, if there were more people like you in this world, what a world it would be. You made me realise that, anxiety and depression are just thieves.
You were kind and you were sweet.
You were all I could ask a human to be.